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Central to maintaining the
courage to live again is your support system.
There are some who have natural support made up
of family, friends, religious faith or other types
of assistance. Some find enormous comfort in reaching
out to others who have experienced similar losses.
Most cities have support groups that meet on a
regular basis for a time of sharing.
Members of these groups:
- feel a sense of connection
with others in the group
- benefit from helping each other
- obtain hope by seeing others
cope effectively
- receive unconditional acceptance
and a sense of belonging
Whether formal or informal, the
support you receive during grief helps determine
your recovery.
Every county or region of North
Carolina has a Hospice organization and there
are over 100 Hospice programs throughout the CDS
service area. Most Hospice organizations have
a support group or bereavement program. Please
look in your local phone book for current Hospice
services and support groups and ask them for meeting
places and times.
We are providing you with the following
list to give you some of the grief and bereavement
resources available in our service regions. Please
note that this list is not an endorsement, nor
is it inclusive of all available resources.
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| WESTERN
REGION |
| 828-322-6333 |
Women's
Resource Center |
Hickory,
NC |
| 704-871-1712 |
Samaritan
Counseling Services |
Statesville,
NC |
| 877-969-0010 |
Compassionate
Friends |
Winston-Salem,
NC |
| 336-788-7600 |
Grief
Share Pinedale Christian Church |
Winston-Salem,
NC |
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| CENTRAL
REGION |
| 336-227-5476 |
Christian
Counseling Center |
Burlington,
NC |
| 877-969-0010 |
Compassionate
Friends |
Fayetteville,
NC |
| 910-609-5465 |
Share
Bereavement Support Group |
Fayetteville,
NC |
| 336-852-0626 |
Methodist
Counseling Center |
Greensboro,
NC |
| 919-644-6869 |
Unicorn
Bereavement Center/Duke Community Bereavement
Services |
Hillsborough,
NC |
| 877-969-0010 |
Compassionate
Friends |
Raleigh,
NC |
| 919-737-1874 |
Christian
Counseling Associates |
Raleigh,
NC |
|
| EASTERN
REGION |
| 877-969-0010 |
Compassionate
Friends |
Elizabeth
City, NC |
| 877-969-0010 |
Compassionate
Friends |
Wilmington,
NC |
| 910-772-5444 |
Grief
Education and Counseling |
Wilmington,
NC |
| 910-256-3802 |
Touched
by Suicide |
Wilmington,
NC |
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NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS
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American
Association of Suicidology
A national organization that
provides education, support, and research on suicide
4201 Connecticut Ave. NW, Suite 408, Washington,
DC 20008
www.suicidology.org
1-202-237-2280
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Compassionate
Friends
A national support group
for those who have lost a child or sibling P.O.
Box 3696, Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696
www.compassionatefriends.org
1-877-969-0010
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MADD
A national support group
that offers support for families who have lost loved
ones as victims to drug or alcohol abuse 511 E.
John Carpenter Freeway, Suite 700, Irving, TX 75062
www.madd.org
1-800-GET-MADD
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National
Donor Family Council
The National Donor Family Council is part of the
National Kidney Foundation (NKF). The Council supports
donor families and honors all organ and tissue donors.
The NDFC provides information and resources for
donor families as they learn to live without the
ones they love. National Donor Family Council c/o
National Kidney Foundation, 30 East 33rd Street,
NewYork, NY 10016
www.donorfamily.org
1-800-622-9010
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Parents
of Murdered Children
A national organization that
provides support and education for families after
the homicide of a loved one 100 East Eighth Street,
Suite B-41, Cincinnati, OH 45202
www.pomc.com
1-888-818-POMC
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| SUGGESTED
READING FOR CHILDREN OF ALL AGES |
Journey to The Healing Garden
A Child's Place For Remembering at www.healingthespirit.org
The Healing Garden is a child grief web page with
interactive activities to help children deal with
their grief and loss through creative expression
and companion interaction.
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf
- Leo Buscaglia. A special
story of the delicate balance between life and death.
Helpful in explaining death to children.
The Velveteen Rabbit
- Margery Williams. A special
story for young and old explaining that the difficult
events in our lives are what makes us who we are
and give us character.
Water Bugs and Dragonflies
- Doris Stickney. A graceful
fable that gives a meaningful explanation for death.
Tiger Eyes - Judy
Blume. Friends help the character in this touching
tale see the good that can happen in a world shaken
by despair.
Charlotte's Web -
E.B. White. A wonderful tale
of love and life that also touches on the reality
of death.
When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide
to Understanding Death. - Laura
Krasny Brown and Marc Brown. Explains in simple
language the feelings people may have regarding
the death of a loved one and the ways to honor the
memory of someone who has died. (For elementary
age children)
Life and Loss: A Guide to Help Grieving Children
- Linda Goldman. The reader
will become aware of the myths that hinder the grief
process, learn the four psychological tasks of grief,
and help a child say good-bye to a dying loved one.
Straight Talk about Death for Teenagers: How to
Cope with Losing Someone You Love. - Earl
Grollman. Suggests ways to deal with the grief and
other emotions felt after the death of a loved one
and to discover how to go on living.
Talking about Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and
Child. - Earl Grollman.
Whether through war, a natural disaster, or the
serious illness of a loved one or pet, many children
must face the reality of death much sooner than
their parents would like. This book is designed
to help parents and children talk about this difficult
time.
When Someone Very Special
Dies: Children Can Learn to Cope With Grief.
- Marge Heegaard. This book
was designed to teach basic concepts of death and
help children understand and express the many feelings
they have when someone special dies. Communication
is increased and coping skills are developed as
they illustrate their books with their personal
story.
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| SUGGESTED
READING FOR PARENTAL DEATH |
Learning to Say Goodbye:
When a Parent Dies - Eda
L. LeShan. The author answers questions, addresses
fears and offers simple support for children to
help them understand the process of grief.
When My Mommy Died: A Child's
View of Death - Jannice
M. Hammond. A book to help children integrate the
death of a parent into their innocent lives.
How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide for
Adults - Lois Akner.
This guide offers frank and compassionate help to
those who need support in dealing with a parent's
death.
The Orphaned Adult: Understanding
and Coping with Grief and Change After the Death
of Our Parents. - Alexander
Levy. A wise and moving look at the most profoundly
life-changing passage of all: losing our parents.
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| SUGGESTED
READING FOR BEREAVED PARENTS |
Children Die, Too
- Joy Johnson. A short book
that discusses the very real responses bereaved
parents experience.
Sunrise Tomorrow -
Elizabeth B. Brown. This
sensitive yet straightforward book addresses the
emotional, spiritual, and physical aftereffects
of the loss of a child.
The Bereaved Parent
- Harriett Sarnoff Schiff.
Referring to the loss of a child as the "ultimate
tragedy" this book helps parents to know that there
is a way back to the "land of the living."
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| SUGGESTED
READING FOR GENERAL BEREAVEMENT |
When Bad Things Happen To
Good People - Harold
S. Kushner. Written by a clergyman who lost a son,
this book is for all who suffer.
When Life Falls Apart
- Warren Wiersbe. Answering
the age old question - is there a purpose to sorrow
and pain and why?
When Going to Pieces Holds
You Together - William
Miller. This book "allows" you to grieve and shows
you the natural normalcy of the process.
Healing the Spirit -
Robin Cowherd. Inspirational
stories of organ and tissue donors and their families.
A Journey Through Grief.
- Alla Renee Bozarth. Gentle,
specific help to get you through the most difficult
stages of grieving.
When God Doesn't Make Sense.
- Dr. James Dobson.
The author offers assurance of God's constant care,
even when human suffering is beyond our comprehension.
Safe Passage: Words to Help the Grieving Hold Fast
and Let Go. - Molly
Fumia. Short readings for the days following loss.
Don't Take My Grief Away: What to Do When You Lose
a Loved One. - Doug
Manning. Gently, with warm, consoling, and practical
guidance, the author addresses the painful, often
disorientating aftermath of the death of a loved
one, helping the bereaved cope with the emotions
and confront the decisions that are an inevitable
part of this time of radical life adjustment.
The Courage to Grieve: Creative Living, Recovery,
& Growth Through Grief. - Judy
Tatelbaum. This unusual self-help book about surviving
grief offers the reader comfort and inspiration.
Each of us will face some loss, sorrow and disappointment
in our lives, and The Courage to Grieve provides
the specific help we need to enable us to face our
grief fully and to recover and grow from the experience.
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| TAKING
CARE OF YOURSELF |
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Your
Feelings
What you are feeling, more than likely, falls
under the heading of normal. Below you will find
some common experiences and suggestions for relief.
What you may experience physically:
- exhaustion or lack of energy
- heaviness or pressure in the chest
- tightness in the throat
- inability to sleep
- periods of nervousness
- changes in appetite
- headaches or upset stomach
- inability to concentrate
Take care of yourself physically:
- In the early stages of grief, don't force
yourself to eat more than you want. As your
appetite returns, eat a healthy, well-balanced
diet.
_ Get regular exercise, especially a peaceful,
quiet walk. Exercise helps you relax.
_ It may be helpful to give up foods and beverages
that affect moods, including caffeine, a stimulant,
and alcohol, a depressant.
_ Strive for a balance in your life: rest, recreation,
prayer/meditation and work.
What you may experience emotionally:
- sadness and depression
- forgetfulness
- crying easily and unexpectedly
- guilt and anger towards yourself, others and
God
- mood swings
- feelings of emptiness
- thoughts about "what if"
Take care of yourself emotionally:
- Be gentle with yourself. Remember, what you
are going through is normal and it is okay to
feel overwhelmed.
- Reach out to others. Find friends with whom
you can talk, especially someone with similar
circumstances.
- Let yourself remember. Tell and re-tell what
you loved about the person who died, and the
experience of their death. A wonderful tool
is a "prompted journal," available
at no cost through CDS.
- Confront guilt by realizing you did the best
you could and try not to be too critical of
yourself.
- Be willing to engage in your grief work. Set
realistic expectations for this growth. Again,
journaling is a wonderful tool for grief work.
- Let go of the feeling that you must do this
on your own. Take the risk of joining a support
group. Reach out and hold on to HOPE.
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