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SUPPORT RESOURCES




 


Central to maintaining the courage to live again is your support system. There are some who have natural support made up of family, friends, religious faith or other types of assistance. Some find enormous comfort in reaching out to others who have experienced similar losses. Most cities have support groups that meet on a regular basis for a time of sharing.

Members of these groups:

  • feel a sense of connection with others in the group
  • benefit from helping each other
  • obtain hope by seeing others cope effectively
  • receive unconditional acceptance and a sense of belonging

Whether formal or informal, the support you receive during grief helps determine your recovery.

Every county or region of North Carolina has a Hospice organization and there are over 100 Hospice programs throughout the CDS service area. Most Hospice organizations have a support group or bereavement program. Please look in your local phone book for current Hospice services and support groups and ask them for meeting places and times.

We are providing you with the following list to give you some of the grief and bereavement resources available in our service regions. Please note that this list is not an endorsement, nor is it inclusive of all available resources.

 

WESTERN REGION
828-322-6333 Women's Resource Center Hickory, NC
704-871-1712 Samaritan Counseling Services Statesville, NC
877-969-0010 Compassionate Friends Winston-Salem, NC
336-788-7600 Grief Share Pinedale Christian Church Winston-Salem, NC
CENTRAL REGION
336-227-5476 Christian Counseling Center Burlington, NC
877-969-0010 Compassionate Friends Fayetteville, NC
910-609-5465 Share Bereavement Support Group Fayetteville, NC
336-852-0626 Methodist Counseling Center Greensboro, NC
919-644-6869 Unicorn Bereavement Center/Duke Community Bereavement Services Hillsborough, NC
877-969-0010 Compassionate Friends Raleigh, NC
919-737-1874 Christian Counseling Associates Raleigh, NC
EASTERN REGION
877-969-0010 Compassionate Friends Elizabeth City, NC
877-969-0010 Compassionate Friends Wilmington, NC
910-772-5444 Grief Education and Counseling Wilmington, NC
910-256-3802 Touched by Suicide Wilmington, NC
 
NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS


American Association of Suicidology
A national organization that provides education, support, and research on suicide 4201 Connecticut Ave. NW, Suite 408, Washington, DC 20008

www.suicidology.org

1-202-237-2280


Compassionate Friends
A national support group for those who have lost a child or sibling P.O. Box 3696, Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696

www.compassionatefriends.org

1-877-969-0010


MADD
A national support group that offers support for families who have lost loved ones as victims to drug or alcohol abuse 511 E. John Carpenter Freeway, Suite 700, Irving, TX 75062

www.madd.org

1-800-GET-MADD


National Donor Family Council
The National Donor Family Council is part of the National Kidney Foundation (NKF). The Council supports donor families and honors all organ and tissue donors. The NDFC provides information and resources for donor families as they learn to live without the ones they love. National Donor Family Council c/o National Kidney Foundation, 30 East 33rd Street, NewYork, NY 10016

www.donorfamily.org

1-800-622-9010


Parents of Murdered Children
A national organization that provides support and education for families after the homicide of a loved one 100 East Eighth Street, Suite B-41, Cincinnati, OH 45202

www.pomc.com

1-888-818-POMC


 SUGGESTED READING FOR CHILDREN OF ALL AGES


Journey to The Healing Garden
A Child's Place For Remembering at www.healingthespirit.org
The Healing Garden is a child grief web page with interactive activities to help children deal with their grief and loss through creative expression and companion interaction.

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf - Leo Buscaglia. A special story of the delicate balance between life and death. Helpful in explaining death to children.


The Velveteen Rabbit - Margery Williams. A special story for young and old explaining that the difficult events in our lives are what makes us who we are and give us character.


Water Bugs and Dragonflies - Doris Stickney. A graceful fable that gives a meaningful explanation for death.


Tiger Eyes - Judy Blume. Friends help the character in this touching tale see the good that can happen in a world shaken by despair.


Charlotte's Web - E.B. White. A wonderful tale of love and life that also touches on the reality of death.


When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death. - Laura Krasny Brown and Marc Brown. Explains in simple language the feelings people may have regarding the death of a loved one and the ways to honor the memory of someone who has died. (For elementary age children)


Life and Loss: A Guide to Help Grieving Children
- Linda Goldman. The reader will become aware of the myths that hinder the grief process, learn the four psychological tasks of grief, and help a child say good-bye to a dying loved one.


Straight Talk about Death for Teenagers: How to Cope with Losing Someone You Love.
- Earl Grollman. Suggests ways to deal with the grief and other emotions felt after the death of a loved one and to discover how to go on living.


Talking about Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child.
- Earl Grollman. Whether through war, a natural disaster, or the serious illness of a loved one or pet, many children must face the reality of death much sooner than their parents would like. This book is designed to help parents and children talk about this difficult time.


When Someone Very Special Dies: Children Can Learn to Cope With Grief. - Marge Heegaard. This book was designed to teach basic concepts of death and help children understand and express the many feelings they have when someone special dies. Communication is increased and coping skills are developed as they illustrate their books with their personal story.
 
 
 SUGGESTED READING FOR PARENTAL DEATH


Learning to Say Goodbye: When a Parent Dies - Eda L. LeShan. The author answers questions, addresses fears and offers simple support for children to help them understand the process of grief.


When My Mommy Died: A Child's View of Death - Jannice M. Hammond. A book to help children integrate the death of a parent into their innocent lives.


How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide for Adults
- Lois Akner. This guide offers frank and compassionate help to those who need support in dealing with a parent's death.


The Orphaned Adult: Understanding and Coping with Grief and Change After the Death of Our Parents. - Alexander Levy. A wise and moving look at the most profoundly life-changing passage of all: losing our parents.
 
 
 SUGGESTED READING FOR BEREAVED PARENTS


Children Die, Too - Joy Johnson. A short book that discusses the very real responses bereaved parents experience.


Sunrise Tomorrow - Elizabeth B. Brown. This sensitive yet straightforward book addresses the emotional, spiritual, and physical aftereffects of the loss of a child.


The Bereaved Parent - Harriett Sarnoff Schiff. Referring to the loss of a child as the "ultimate tragedy" this book helps parents to know that there is a way back to the "land of the living."
 
 
 SUGGESTED READING FOR GENERAL BEREAVEMENT


When Bad Things Happen To Good People - Harold S. Kushner. Written by a clergyman who lost a son, this book is for all who suffer.


When Life Falls Apart - Warren Wiersbe. Answering the age old question - is there a purpose to sorrow and pain and why?


When Going to Pieces Holds You Together - William Miller. This book "allows" you to grieve and shows you the natural normalcy of the process.


Healing the Spirit - Robin Cowherd. Inspirational stories of organ and tissue donors and their families.


A Journey Through Grief. - Alla Renee Bozarth. Gentle, specific help to get you through the most difficult stages of grieving.


When God Doesn't Make Sense. - Dr. James Dobson. The author offers assurance of God's constant care, even when human suffering is beyond our comprehension.


Safe Passage: Words to Help the Grieving Hold Fast and Let Go.
- Molly Fumia. Short readings for the days following loss.


Don't Take My Grief Away: What to Do When You Lose a Loved One.
- Doug Manning. Gently, with warm, consoling, and practical guidance, the author addresses the painful, often disorientating aftermath of the death of a loved one, helping the bereaved cope with the emotions and confront the decisions that are an inevitable part of this time of radical life adjustment.


The Courage to Grieve: Creative Living, Recovery, & Growth Through Grief.
- Judy Tatelbaum. This unusual self-help book about surviving grief offers the reader comfort and inspiration. Each of us will face some loss, sorrow and disappointment in our lives, and The Courage to Grieve provides the specific help we need to enable us to face our grief fully and to recover and grow from the experience.
 
 
 TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF


Your Feelings
What you are feeling, more than likely, falls under the heading of normal. Below you will find some common experiences and suggestions for relief.

What you may experience physically:

  • exhaustion or lack of energy
  • heaviness or pressure in the chest
  • tightness in the throat
  • inability to sleep
  • periods of nervousness
  • changes in appetite
  • headaches or upset stomach
  • inability to concentrate

Take care of yourself physically:

  • In the early stages of grief, don't force yourself to eat more than you want. As your appetite returns, eat a healthy, well-balanced diet.
    _ Get regular exercise, especially a peaceful, quiet walk. Exercise helps you relax.
    _ It may be helpful to give up foods and beverages that affect moods, including caffeine, a stimulant, and alcohol, a depressant.
    _ Strive for a balance in your life: rest, recreation, prayer/meditation and work.

What you may experience emotionally:

  • sadness and depression
  • forgetfulness
  • crying easily and unexpectedly
  • guilt and anger towards yourself, others and God
  • mood swings
  • feelings of emptiness
  • thoughts about "what if"

Take care of yourself emotionally:

  • Be gentle with yourself. Remember, what you are going through is normal and it is okay to feel overwhelmed.
  • Reach out to others. Find friends with whom you can talk, especially someone with similar circumstances.
  • Let yourself remember. Tell and re-tell what you loved about the person who died, and the experience of their death. A wonderful tool is a "prompted journal," available at no cost through CDS.
  • Confront guilt by realizing you did the best you could and try not to be too critical of yourself.
  • Be willing to engage in your grief work. Set realistic expectations for this growth. Again, journaling is a wonderful tool for grief work.
  • Let go of the feeling that you must do this on your own. Take the risk of joining a support group. Reach out and hold on to HOPE.

 

 
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